After a few encouraging phone calls with prayer warriors who are standing with me in prayer for Kenya, I felt like I should sit down and write something. So this is the raw ramblings of my heart this evening.
In the midst of all the chaos going on, I find my heart completely overwhelmed. Overwhelmed with brokenness, with uncertainty, with the unknown. My heart cries out to God and I don’t even know what to pray.
It’s so easy to get so wrapped up in all going on. Watching the news, reading the reports, I’m drowning in all of this. Talking to all of my Kenyan friends, hearing of their experiences and their current situations. Paralyzing fear. Brokenness. Desperation.
God, what do I do with this? He says, I’ve positioned you as a watchman on the wall. Watchmen see something happening and they relay that to the next person down the wall. That’s what you’ve been doing and that’s something I’ve called you to continue to do. He’s put me on this wall, this high place and now I’ve got to ride it out. Get the word out. A call for others to rise and unite in prayer.
It’s easy to wonder, “Am I doing enough?” Lord, what’s my role here? The Lord says, Just do the next thing. Lord, what is the next thing? Last night when I called all my Kenyan friends, I was just doing the next thing. The Lord said, call my children, encourage them and let them know you’re standing and warring with them. Let them know they’re not alone. Love them. Bring them to Me, before the Throneroom. It’s not your job to carry them out of this situation, just carry them to Me.
I’m called to stand against this seemingly unmovable rock and just lean. Lean against it and into the Father’s heart. He knows and sees so much more than we could ever imagine. Jesus is at the Father’s right hand petitioning the Father for his children in Kenya right now. Our job is to echo that petition, to agree with the intercession that is already happening.
In the midst of my overwhelmed heart, I must take a step away. Away from the graphic videos and pictures online that make me cringe and nauseous. Away from the news articles that bring me to tears. Away from the fact that some of my closest friends are dodging bullets and choking on tear gas as I sit here. I have to step away from this. I seek the Lord and ask him what’s next. What do I do now? How do I pray? There’s so much going on. And his answer is Praise me for who I am.
In this hour, I am called to get wrapped up in the wonder of who He is. I am reminded of the sweet truth that we still serve a Sovereign God. I believe that His word is true and that He will do all that is necessary to capture his children’s hearts. The Lord hears the desperation in the land. We cry out in every way we know how and he’s faithful. So I will stand. I’ll stand here, a watchman on the wall, and I’ll praise Him for what He’s doing. Even when I can’t see it from all the darkness, I thank him that He’s at work. He’s at work in the hidden strategies. This is not a surprise to him; he has planned ahead for such a time as this. I will stand with my friends and battle with them. For my God is Sovereign! My God is Just! My God is mighty to save!
I’ve been camping out in Psalms all day, feasting on the truth of who God is and the promises He’s made in His word. Psalm 17, 18, 34, 40, 61, 62 the list goes on and on.
Isaiah 35:3-4
“Strengthen the feeble hands, steady the knees that give way; Say to those with fearful hearts, “Be strong, do not fear; Your God will come, he will come with vengeance; With divine retribution he will come to save you.”
Thanks for all the encourgaing emails and for standing with me in prayer. I’ll keep you posted as I know more. Blessings,
Kayla
